Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Reason 256

Laughter as medicine. Tonight my mom and I received the devastating news that our eleven year-old cat, Elliot, has a very aggressive form of stomach cancer. He had lost a lot of weight in the past two months and seemed a bit sluggish, but we chalked it up to an infection or general cat persnickety-ness, never having the experience of a pet becoming seriously ill. We are proud to say we adopt all of our animals from the pound and since none of the four-legged creatures in our lives are purebred, they generally don't come down sick with anything more significant than worms or fleas. When I got home from my mom's, after snuggling up to Elliot through now-depressing episodes of "SYTYCD" and "Project Runway," I texted the news to my BFF, Steve, who promptly called to console me. Well, the reason I had texted in the first place was I knew if I started talking about Elliot I would break down right there in the middle of the parking garage, my neighbors strolling by me with simultaneously sympathetic and creeped out looks on their faces. And that is exactly what happened. Thankfully, Steve also had me cracking jokes about the situation, which, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, helps quite a bit with the whole obnoxious grieving process. We laughed about the inconvenience of goldfish living longer than necessary and of me not having the skills to cope with kitty cancer since all of my previous cats had either been hit by cars or eviscerated by local wildlife. Of course, I probably appeared to be an escapee from the local mental hospital, chortling maniacly while copious amounts of bodily fluids dripped out of my face, but poking fun at such a serious situation certainly alleviated some of my pain and reminded me that joy can and should be found everywhere. So, Jason, as bizarre or uncomfortable as it may seem at the time, I will rattle off jokes left and right if a calamity infiltrates your universe. No subject is too taboo; no tragedy is off limits. Well, maybe rape. I can't really find anything amusing about that. If you think of something, let me know. In the meantime, I will be mourning the imminent loss of my beloved Elliot with tears streaming down my face and laughter bubbling forth from my belly. You are a wonderful cat, Elliot, and you will be deeply missed.

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