Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Sunday, August 15, 2010

Reason 253

Bed sharing. After sharing an overly soft queen-size bed with my mother the last two weeks, I am happy to report that last night's trip to dreamland was the best I've had in a fortnight. That said, if you're going to share a bed with someone (in a completely non-sexual way) I think I'm a darn good choice. I have platonically slept with a number of people over the years and have heard nary a complaint from any of them. Now, I can't think of a scenario in which you and I would share a bed, Jason - perhaps we're traveling together, have lost all of our magical credit cards, and only have enough cash between us to pay for dinner at Denny's and a single room at Motel 6 - but I can practically guarantee that if it were to happen I would not disrupt your REM cycle with sharp kicks to your legs or foghorn-like noises issuing forth from my nasal region (although you may hear a very slight snuffling sound, according to my mom, so just pretend your cozying up next to an overgrown pig). I will be gracious enough to wear pajamas that won't send you into a sexual frenzy (unless you're turned on by plaid flannel) and am perfectly content with the covers situation as long as I have a single corner to grip tightly in my hand. I'm ambidextrous when it comes to sides, so feel free to call dibs on the half of the bed closest to the bathroom, and I may even smell lovely while tucking myself in thanks to the intoxicating scent of Bath & Body Works citrus body lotion. All I ask in return for all of my thoughtfulness is that you don't sleep naked or try a ninja spooning move on me because, as friends, that would just be awkward.

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