Reason 218

Band names. If you've ever played Rock Band (and honestly, who hasn't? Even my mother has hit the color-coded skins a few times), you understand how much pressure falls on your shoulders when it's time to assign your motley group of musical neophytes a band name. The moniker should be clever and unexpected, perhaps a play on your occupation or favorite movie quote, and everyone has to agree on it. Yep, choosing a band name is about as easy as nailing Jell-O to a tree. Back when Rock Band was first released, two of my coworkers and I got together regularly to strum guitars and wale on the cow bell in "Don't Fear the Reaper," calling ourselves Hot 4 Teacher, which we found extremely clever. I have also been a member of Anybody Want a Peanut, Granny Panties, and Bicurious Shoes (Liz Lemon, I love you!). Now, those are some pretty awesome names, but I have two mind-blowing options in my back pocket that I've been saving for the just the right grouping and I think, Jason, you may be worthy of one of them. So, take your pick - Green Means Go or Damned If I Know. I'll give you a moment to bask in the gloriousness of my brilliance. Now for the bad news. Sadly, I discovered this morning that some Christian rock group has procured the first option (sometimes I hate the power of Google), but I think our gang is infinitely more deserving of the name, so we'll just ignore that little fact. Mull over your options, Jason, and let me know what you decide. I'll be eagerly awaiting your pick, guitar strap in hand, XBox turned on, and cow bell at the ready.