Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Reason 155

Dates. When it comes to dating, my track record is not too hot. It's not that I am some socially awkward recluse, holed up in my condo building dioramas of favorite scenes from 80's movies (although that does sound like a pretty kick-ass time), or an overly aggressive she-devil who lures men into my web and then devours them (metaphorically, of course). Honestly, I just haven't been motivated to spend hours seeking out funny, intelligent, kind men in their early 30's who live within a 30-mile radius and know the difference between there, their and they're. Teaching seems to take up a considerable amount of time and energy, and when you mix in commitments to my friends and family, writing this fabulous blog, playing games on FaceBook, and watching Glee, just the thought of dating makes me want to crawl into bed and sleep for days. Even though I seem to go on a lot of first dates with unimpressive men (yep, jobless, carless and living with roommates when you're 37 is pretty hot), I do think I am a fairly good judge of character when it comes to people my friends date. Last year when I met the woman my best friend had been dating for three months I immediately knew she was not the peanut butter to his jelly and he broke up with her three days later (not at my urging mind you, although if he asked for my opinion I would've told him to cut and run the minute they arrived back in San Diego). In high school, I was notorious for setting classmates up with the decent guys in my neighborhood, and after college I accurately predicted how many years a certain marriage would last. What this all means for you, Jason, is that I will be more than happy to screen all of your dates, providing you with ample feedback about each lady's pros and cons, before you find yourself in a monogomous relationship that rivals Jon and Kate's. My tolerance for bullshit is pretty low, so I think I'll have an easy time spotting the women who want to hang on your arm simply because you're a celebrity and those who are genuinely interested in all of your amazing qualities. I won't even charge you for my services, unlike some other matchmakers out there. All that I ask is, when I do introduce you to the woman of your dreams, you name your first born child after me. A small price to pay for true love, I think.

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