Reason 54

My students. I spend my days teaching 6th graders about the joys of reading. Now, if you have ever met an 11 year old you know that they can be highly entertaining, intentionally or not. Just imagine what occurs when 30 of them are in a small room together. That's right - hilarity ensues. As your friend, Jason, I will gladly regale you with stories from the teaching trenches that will make you guffaw, gasp and groan. Why, just the other day one of my students rushed into the room next door, shrilly screaming "Oh, my God! The horror!" Of course, the two teachers there immediately thought there was an emergency. Nope. Turns out the student had witnessed my portly substitute teacher scratching her bum. When asked why he was even looking at her rump, the student replied "It was right in front of my face. I couldn't look away!" Poor thing is probably scarred for life. One of my favorite stories to tell centers around me unintentionally telling the whole class F. U. That one will have to wait until we're in the same room, though. It's much more effective with hand gestures.